There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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