yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
