you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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