If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
