he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
