so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
barbara walters just said penis...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
