he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
