Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
