It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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