you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
