i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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