i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
