thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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