I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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