There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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