I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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