nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize