Jerry, you need to find god
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
