My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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