You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
