Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
