The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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