The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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