Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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