mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
