i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
