Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
