I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
