Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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