dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you will always have a special place in my vag
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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