Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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