you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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