I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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