apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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