turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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