You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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