yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
why do cheetos always look like penises
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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