you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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