I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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