One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
