He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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