9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
