"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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