HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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