I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
