K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
