Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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