i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
