Do you still have your period?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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