Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
