Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
