So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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