Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was like eating out sand paper
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
