Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
