is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
