I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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