We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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