Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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