nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
