So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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